God damn it, tonight is the last night I’m gonna see Ariel in awhile.
I wish I didn’t lack confidence.
I have like no faith in myself honestly lol
I honestly can’t wait until highschool is over
and I mean I am excited about college and stuff, but I am even more excited about living in a new place, experiencing the life in a totally new environment and whatnot
I want to feel happy
Or at least alive
I just want to be in a good mood for more than one day
Is that too much to ask?
Because I literally feel like my emotions have been wrung out of my body and the leftovers make me feel damp and heavy.
This feeling is so consuming and irritating
I lost interest in so much, it’s ridiculous.
Ughhhhhhhh I feel like I’m in a black hole that I can’t dig myself out from.
It makes me feel physically weak.
I hate writing all this shit out too but it kind of feels better to see my thoughts in words
But it kind of makes me uncomfortable at the same time